- friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
- me: what
- friend: OH MAN
- OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
- I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
- SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
- JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Straight boys like “lets threesome” but can’t even please one woman
ATTENTION EVERYONE THIS IS THE REALEST SHIT I’VE EVER READ
Just say “sure babe, let’s get another guy in here” and see how quickly they shut down.
The only thing about America’s measuring system that’s better than metric is that you can say “miles of smiles”
“Kilometers of smiles” just sounds weird