brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
damnablepencil: krabwatch: m4ngos: krabwatch: i like the fact that i live in a world where people of any sex/gender can say ‘suck my dick’ and no one questions it why did you put sex/gender. it means the same exact thing. ding-dong you are wrong
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.” So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
circumcising: are we gunna have sex or are you going to continue to like my posts
inseptica: shout out to girls with harsh voices and boys with fat thighs and to people who dont like a tv show but will still watch it with a good attitude if their friend wants to watch it and shout out to people who only rarely talk to their pets in baby voices and also to people who laugh at their own jokes and people who draw angry eyebrows on billboards i love you all
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
zeram: maozedung: homework? decent grades? the bible said adam and eve not adam and achieve i almost spit everywhere
alltimeangela: why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
To be or not to be? Bitch I might be– William Shakespeare (via morgan-freemans-voice)
First day of summer
And I literally just sit here and refresh my dash. over. and over. and over.
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: jusst-another-day: simplymykayla: cnnbreakingofficial: if tumblr was bought out for $1.1B and there are 60 million blogs that means each blog is worth $18.3 my blog is worth more than i am Well actually it would cost anywhere between $5,000 - $250,000 to hire an assassin to kill you so chin up hun, you are worth so much more than $18.30 first the...
Your thighs startled me– Ty Monique (via birdgeneral)
njena: i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
justfeedmepizza: derekthereindeer: why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone
In honor of masturbation month....
1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
11: Top or bottom?
12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug?
14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
23: How big is too big (peniswise):
24: One sexual thing you would never do:
25: Biggest turn on:
26: Three spots that drive you insane:
27: Worst possible time to get horny:
28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
35: What your favorite part of your body:
36: Favorite foreplay activities:
37: Love (>,
38: What do you wear to bed?
39: When was the first time you masturbated:
40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
49: Most attractive celebrity?
50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
54: Do you have stretch marks?
55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
66: Do you watch porn?
67: How small is too small?
68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
74: Booty or Boobs?
75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
76: Have you ever been on an official date?
77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
this seems fun
drenchedinlove: POSTING NUDES DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT. POSTING PROVOCATIVE IMAGES DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT. POSTING SKIN DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT. POSTING SEXUAL IMAGES OF YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK SELF RESPECT. YOU CAN RESPECT YOUR BODY AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT AND SHARE IT WITH WHOMEVER YOU WISH, AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING.
mowwwg: “you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!” the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
Come on guys. I said please. What do I need to do? Fucking strip tease?
Bored, lonesome, and restless
Please talk to me
send me a ~ for a smash or pass c: